What Happend to Rose
by SnowGoose
Summary: Rose and Dimitri have finally gotten back together. You would think that they would finally get to be happy but a new law threatens to tear them apart. Can Dimitri come to his sences in time to fight for his love.
1. Flipping Law

I was working on one of my other stories when this popped into my head. It wouldn't go away so I had to let my voices tell their story. Though this is a one shot it follows along the same lines as my other alternate timeline stories. Those of you who have read them will know Sasha and the House on Cherry Hill.

I do not, of course, own VA. That which is mine I share with you.

**~oOo~ ~oOo~ ~oOo~**

**Preface**: Everything in Frostbite happened including Dimitri being taken by the Strigoi. Blood promise happened too but I have changed a few things. When Dimitri is turned back into a Dhampir he maintains Strigoi speed and strength. His senses of hearing sight and smell are better than Dhampir or Moroi but not as good as a Strigoi. He is not shadow kissed but his brush with being undead has left its mark on him and now he can see ghosts. Instead of Tatiana getting murdered Rose and Adrian walked in on the attack in time for Rose to save the Queen.

Along with the new age decree making novices graduate at 16 a law was passed allowing Dhampir/Dhampir relationships and Marriages providing that both partners agree not to prevent one or both from procreating with a Moroi. The punishment for preventing procreation is five years' incarceration for the offending partner.

Adrian realizes that though Rose loves him, he acquiesces to the fact that he and Rose were never meant to be more than friends. Dimitri is her soul mate and always has been. Dimitri finally gets over his guilt and he begins to date Rose again.

Of course fate can never let Rose and Dimitri have happiness.

Inspiration for Rose's letter came from Linkin Park's song Leave out all the rest.

**Dimitri POV**

I was sitting in my room reading a book well trying to at least; (My mind was on Roza and how badly our relationship ended) when someone pounded on my door. I groaned audibly, and set my book down and walked to the door trying to keep myself calm. It was probably Ivashkov coming to insist once again that I listen to him. He has been coming around more often trying to get me to listen to him gloat about Rose and his child she carries. If I could get away with it I would beat the shit out of him but if anything happens to him everyone would know it was me. I opened the door to find not only Ivashkov but Lissa, and Christian as well. The minute my door was opened the trio rushed in.

"Princess what can I do for you?"

"You have to find her Dimitri please I know your hurt with her but you have to find her for me please!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Rose ran away. She is out there and she needs help. God Dimitri do you hear me! She is bleeding out and she won't last out there long."

"What, how was she injured?"

"She had the baby; she was alone and didn't call anyone for help. There is blood all over her room and a trail leading to the woods. She left a note." Lissa lifted the paper in her hand but when I didn't take it she began to read it out loud."

My Dear friends:

I am sorry, I have made such a mess of my life and you have all suffered along with me. I only wanted to save the man I love from being imprisoned but just like all my other mistakes I had good intentions.

I gave birth at 6 pm. I think it is a girl I am not sure. I can't bear to look at it, it hurts so much. I care for my child and know that it needs to be raised by someone who will love it not by an academy. Lissa I know you would be a good mom. Chris you would be a good dad.

Adrian I know that you are the father but your lifestyle would be cramped by fatherhood. I want you to be part of its life too. I want you to give it a good name.

Please tell Dimitri I am sorry for what I did. I never meant to hurt and betray him. He once told me that Love Fades. My love for him never did but I understand that after what I have done he has lost any affection he ever had for me. I wish him a life of happiness with someone who will be honest and faithful to him.

My time has come now to part with this world. Please forget the wrong things I have done; think of all the good times and leave out all the rest. Help me leave my child some reason to be proud to be mine.

I can feel Mason calling me home; I need to get past the wards so he can guide me. It won't be long now I can feel it. I feel no pain, and I am at peace.

With all the love in my heart  
Rose.

Lissa's voice trembled as she read the letter. Adrian wrapped his arms around her and it was then that I realized Christian had his arms full. The child began to cry and Lissa held her arms out for it. My heart thundered in my chest at the site of the tuft of brown hair. This child had come between my love and I but I felt compelled to look at my only connection to her. Despite what the others might think I already loved the child because it is part of Roza.

Shock set in almost immediately. I could not find any evidence of Ivashkov in its features. What I did see was the Belikov dominant eye color; soft chocolate brown. They peered at me with an intensity that reminded me of grandma Yeva. My mother's heart shaped lips turned down in a whimper. The rest was all Rose.

I Ran out the door heading straight to Rose's building. Just outside I found the blood trail that Lissa had mentioned and followed it towards the woods. I used my enhanced senses to track her. Even when I couldn't see the trail I could smell it. I never forgot the smell or taste of her blood. That was one of the things that had made me avoid her when I was first turned back.

As I tracked her I thought about the time. That has passed since she gave birth and now. If she gave birth at 6 pm and it was now passed 11 then that means she has been out in this cold autumn air for 5 hours. I could be too late.

As I passed the wards I felt them. Ghosts began to fly around me. Excruciating pain invaded my head. I remembered the experiences that Rose had on the airplane so long ago. I tried to put up mental walls and pushed forward. About two miles past the wards I found her. Her body was positioned as if she was sleeping but I could see the pool of blood around her legs. Her skin was as pale as a Moroi. Her heartbeat was faint and irregular. Standing beside her with a sad expression was the ghost of Mason Ashford. He looked at me and pointed to her with urgency and hope in his eyes. I scooped her up and ran with her back to the wards. I didn't know what to do. Take her to the infirmary or take her back to my apartment where I last saw Lissa. The infirmary was closer and I hoped that Lissa would know to go there. Her heart began to falter and as it did mine began to shatter.

I approached the infirmary and just outside the door I found a female Doctor with a gurney standing next to Lissa. I placed Rose on the gurney as swiftly as I could. Immediately Lissa placed her hands on rose's belly while the Doctor began an IV of blood. They didn't even bother to bring her inside till they had gotten the IV started.

"Thank you Cousin." Adrian said to the Doctor as she began to roll Rose in. We followed them in and took seats in the waiting room. I took in the site of Roza's friends. Adrian held the baby closely in his arms. Lissa was leaning her head on Christian's shoulder tears running down her face. Christian held her and comforted her but I noticed that his eyes were glassy as if he was high; then I saw it. He had a bite mark in his neck. I recalled the way that Lissa soothed the baby back at my apartment and I realized that she had been using spirit. He knew that Rose might be dead or at the brink when I brought her and Lissa would need all the strength she could muster to be able to bring Rose back. Once a long time ago Christian was injured while helping Rose, defend Lissa from Si hounds. Right there in front of Alberta and me; Rose offered her neck to Lissa giving her the strength to save him. I take it that he just returned the favor.

I turned to Adrian. I wouldn't blame him if he punched me but I had to know.

"Adrian I am ready to listen. Please tell me the truth."

"You want the truth now? I tried to tell you the truth for 7 months but you wouldn't listen. You could have prevented this from happening if you had just been willing to listen to me then."

"Adrian, please?" Adrian looked into my eyes and commanded me to sleep. I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes. When I opened them I was in Ivashkov's suite. Adrian stood beside me.

"The only way I can really explain is to show you. This might be uncomfortable but you are going to see this as if you were me. You will hear my thoughts in your head and know my emotions. I am sharing my memories with you so you can know firsthand what the truth really is."

"OK" I was nervous but the need to understand the truth overruled my other emotions. He reached out and touched my head and suddenly my perspective changed.

**~oOo~  
Adrian's, Memories as Dimitri is seeing them.**

I had a tumbler full of Vodka in my hand. I was contemplating my new relationship with Rose. I know that she is Belikov's soul mate and as much as it hurt me at first I realize she is better off with him. I love her but I have to admit even to myself that it isn't quite the romantic love I thought it was. I have allowed myself to think of her as a sister, the way Eddie and Christian do. I find that I am quite content as her brother. I take another swig of vodka. There was an urgent knock at my door and I hastened to answer it.

Rose stood at the door and she had tears in her eye. Beside her was Guardian Mikhail Tanner. His expression was grim. I invited them both in and offered them some Vodka. Rose accepted and I poured her a double shot which she gulped down and put her glass up for more. She gulped down the second.

"What's wrong Rose?" She broke into sobs so I turned my attention to Guardian Tanner.

"I got information that a Royal that went to school with Rose is trying to get Dimitri arrested for interference of procreation. Mr. Jessie Zeklos claims that back in their senior year guardian Belikov stopped a romantic interlude between himself and Rose." I nodded my head remembering when Rose told me that story. "Your Aunt is trying to stall the counsel with the fact that the incident happened long before the new law was enacted. Unfortunately the counsel is leaning towards making the law retroactive. The only way to keep Dimitri out of Prison is if Rose gets pregnant before the counsel sends someone to arrest him."

"Oh Rose I am sorry I wish I could help." Rose looked up at me and I instantly regretted saying that. I used to want nothing more than to bed Rose but now the thought of it feels wrong.

"No Rose I can't do that with you."

"There was a time that you did want me. Can't you think back to then and pretend? Please I can't let him go to prison. The desperation in her eyes was painful. After about an hour of debating I finally agreed.

Rose followed me into my room. She was shaking like a leaf and only proceeded to shake harder when I wrapped my arms around her.

"Shhh shhh Rose I am not going to hurt you." I closed my eyes and kiss her. I tried to recall the passion I once had for her but soon I felt wetness on my face and tasted the salt of her tears. I pulled back and she began to sob again. I held her for a while till she began to calm.

"Rose we can't do this. You really don't want it." Her eyes grew round.

"Please I will try harder to want it." She crushed her lips to mine but as she did her body shook with her silent sobs. I pulled her away and looked into her eyes.

"Rose you are not a prostitute who can just roll on your back and pretend. I am not a rapist; I cannot force myself on you even if you are trying to convince me to." She put her hand to her mouth and ran to my bath room. That is when I noticed it. She had a soft purplish swirl of color in her aura. It was centered low on her torso. Despite the shadows of her aura the swirl was clear and bright. It was very faint but I could definitely see it when I looked directly at it. It was a separate aura all together. Rose came out of my bathroom a few minutes later smelling of mouthwash.

"Sorry I am a nervous wreck. I can't let them take him away from me. Please, Adrian I need you to do this for me?"

I sat down on the bed and put my face in my hands. I want to tell her that she is already carrying Belikov's child and that she should go to the counsel and explain it. But then I realized that might be a very bad move. What if they fear her child because it is conceived of two Dhampirs or because he was once Strigoi? What if they try to force her to abort? What if they experimented on her child? I can't let anything happen to her or the baby.

"Compel me! Make me want you just this once." I looked at her eyes and saw the depth of her desperation. I knew what I had to do. Looking deeply into her eyes I could feel my compulsion take effect.

"Rose you will believe that we made love. When you find out that you are carrying you will believe I am the father. I need you to strip off your clothing and slip into my bed. Close your eyes and sleep for five minutes then when you wake you will believe we made love. Dress and come to the living room. If ever I tell you about this compulsion the spell will be broken and you will know the truth. You are already pregnant, we never had sex and you are not guilty of being unfaithful to your love."

Rose avoided me for a couple of weeks and I knew she must have been guilt ridden. I don't blame her, I feel guilty and I didn't even touch her. Once again there was a knock at my door.

"Rose? Oh Rose what happened?" She stood in front of my door with tears streaking her cheeks. I pulled her into my arms. She was stiff at my touch at first but soon melted into my arms and began crying anew. I pulled her to the couch with me. I sat with her in my lap and her face buried in my neck. Even before she calmed enough to tell me what was wrong I knew.

"Adrian he hates me. I found out a few days ago that it worked. I am pregnant. I wasn't sure how to explain to him what I did and why. I was planning on telling him soon because I am already starting to show. This morning the guard came to take him away. I had to produce the paperwork from the Doctor at the infirmary with my test results. Dimitri was already upset that I am pregnant. The guard asked who the father is and when I named you Dimitri lost it. He ran to our room and began to take my things and throw them at me. He, he, he broke up with me."

"We will go talk to him together." I helped her up and wrapped an arm protectively around her waist. When we arrived at her apartment we saw three large trash bags sitting on the doorstep. I moved them to the side to make room for us to stand. I knocked softly. He opened the door with his guardian mask already fully in place.

"Belikov I need to speak to you. I need to tell you the truth." Rage flashed though his eyes.

"I don't give a shit what you, either of you, have to say." Rose pulled away from me and tried to embrace him.  
"Dimitri I …" Her voice was cut off by the volume of his.

"Get the hell off of me, Leave and go live with him. You can be a happy little family. Leave and take your shit with you!" He picked up one of the bags and threw it at her with more force than she expected. She landed against the wall on the other side of the hall way. Her head cracked against it. She stood there looking at him, fear, pain and loss in her eyes and her aura. From his position at the door he wouldn't have seen it but I did. There was a bloodstain on the wall where her head had impacted it. Blood trickled down her neck.

"Just go Rose, it's over and done with and there is nothing left to say."

His mask was gone and I saw remorse, as well as pain and loss in his face. He turned and closed the door. Rose stood frozen in shock. I picked her up and carried her to the infirmary where I knew my cousin Sasha would be working at this hour.

Sasha cleaned up Rose's injury and we made the decision to bring Rose to stay with Sasha and her family. Though technically The House on Cherry Hill is mine; I have no need of it right now. Sasha is in the process of having her own home built and they are living in my mansion for the time being. Sasha will look after Rose and make sure her and the baby are fine throughout her pregnancy. Rose seemed so fragile, I know Dimitri had not intended to harm her but I wanted to keep him away from her anyway.

One day not long after Rose her break up with Dimitri Rose asked Sasha if she could abort the baby. Sasha explained that it was too late, Rose was too far along. She made the decision to keep the baby. I bought a condo for Rose in my building for after the baby was born. She would come with me and decorate it but for the most part she stayed with Sasha. Over the next seven months she grew more and more quiet. She showed little interest in the baby and didn't even want to know the gender. She never tried to harm herself but I worried about her mental state. Lissa and Christian spent a lot of time with her trying to make her happy.

I tried a few times to get Dimitri to listen to me but he never gave me a chance. If only he understood the truth. I know in his aura that he loves her and regrets how things ended. I have been making frequent trips to his apartment to try to speak to him. His stupid pride is wounded and he won't listen to anything I have to say to him.

She was close to the end of her third trimester when she decided to go live in her condo. I was on my way to visit her and invite her to lunch when I knew something was wrong. There was blood leading from outside right though her door. I heard the cry of a baby. I ran into her unlocked apartment to find more blood. In her bedroom the largest concentration of blood was on her bed. The baby in the bassinet was wrapped in a blood smeared towel. I pulled out my phone and called Lissa.

While I waited for them to come back I picked up the baby and brought it to the changing table. The room was cold so I worked fast. The umbilical cord was cut and tied with a knot. There was no diaper on the baby and she was wet. I cleaned her up and put a fresh diaper on her. I dressed her and covered her in clean pink blankets. Lissa ran into the baby's room with a note in her hand. Christian held his arms out for Rose's daughter. I took the note and red it quickly.

We need Belikov; he will be able to find her faster than any of us will. I handed her the note and pulled her out of the door with me.

~oOo~

I opened my eyes and found myself in the waiting room. So many emotions ran through me. I had imagined her running into Adrian's arms; I guess I am still jealous that she almost gave herself to him before we got back together. I never trusted his sudden change in feelings when he said that she and I belonged together and that he only loved her like a sister. I thought it was him who had tried to get me arrested. Lissa had tried to tell me that Rose would never be able to hurt me like that but I didn't believe her. After all how could she have gotten pregnant if she was faithful to me? She is shadow kissed and I am former Strigoi, neither of us is a normal Dhampir. In never occurred to me that maybe we were special. I thought of the purple and silver colors that Adrian had seen in the child's aura. In his memories that had been something important.

All the months that Rose was gone I felt lost without her. I had been furious at her for a few weeks but I know the new law had her worried. The day that I kicked her out of our home and accidently pushed her into the wall I knew that I had injured her. I smelled her blood instantly I was so guilt ridden that I really believed she was better off back with Adrian. Later when I saw the red stain I literally threw up. To this very day I can still smell it when I enter or exit the apartment even though it was cleaned up long ago. After the initial shock wore off I took some time to think through why Roza would have done this to me. Part of me realized that there is nothing Roza wouldn't do to protect or save me. After all she had traveled the world to find me. She broke a man out of prison who had tortured her and her best friend; just to find a cure for me. Why wouldn't she try to protect my freedom by making sure this law couldn't touch us? After seeing though Adrian's memories how difficult it was for her to allow him to touch her thinking that she would have to have sex with him just reaffirms her love for me.

I have wanted her back almost since I sent her away. I would have been willing to raise Adrian's baby. After the way I had treated her I didn't hold any hope that she would ever love me again. I hoped to see her around court but I had not laid eyes on her in the whole seven months that we have been apart. I asked Lissa what happened to her but Lissa would never tell me. Christian once mentioned that Rose moved in with a relative of Adrian's but that Adrian had bought her a condo in his complex. Sometimes Adrian would come and try to talk to me but I couldn't stand to be near him or even look at him knowing he had touched Rose. That is why I wouldn't listen to him. If I had just eaten my pride and let him speak then I think things would have turned out differently.

"Thank you Adrian, for being a true friend to my Roza. I love her with all my heart but I am afraid that I do not deserve her."

"Dimitri, you are right you don't deserve her but that isn't what matters. What matters is that she wants you. She is very hurt with you but she still loves you and I think that she is languishing without you. You be there for her and begin by taking your daughter and being a father to her."

Adrian handed me my child. She was so small and so perfect. She opened her eyes and met mine with a piercing gaze. I almost feel as it I am looking into the eyes of my grandmother. Her lip began to quiver just before she began to cry. Adrian pulled out a bottle of pink milk and handed it to me. Its smell was strong enough for me to know what was in it before I even took it in my hands.

"Adrian, why are you giving my baby blood in her milk?"

"Dimitri your daughter is special. She is ¾ Moroi instead of ½ like normal Dhampirs. I believe she will be able to wield magic when she is old enough. Moroi children need blood from the start. Normally Rose would be breastfeeding her and in the process giving her the blood she needs. Since we are using formula at least until rose can feed her herself, we need to add a little blood once a day." I took the bottle and offered it to my daughter. She took it hungrily.

"What are you going to name her? Rose asked that you name her and I think that after everything you have done for her and Roza you should have the honor."

"Sarah Marie Belikov"

"That is a beautiful name."

A little while later, the Doctor came out to talk to us.

"She is alive and stable now but she is in a coma. We will know more in the next 24 to 72 hours. If one of you would like to stay with her then I will allow it. She can have visitors now but please no more than 3 adults at a time."

"Thank you Doctor. Adrian, could you do me one more favor. Please go to my apartment and get me a change of clothing and also more supplies for Sarah, from Roza's condo. I don't plan on leaving Roza's side again."

"I will be back shortly. Please tell her I will be visiting her soon." He handed me the diaper bag and left. I stood and followed the Doctor to Roza's room.

Please review and tell me what you think.

Will Rose accept Dimitri Back?

Why do you think that the Dhampir relationship law was passed?

Do you think that Rose will make it through this ok?

Thank you all for reading and I hope you like it.


	2. Why I Did It

March 5, 2011

During the days before my computer had to be wiped I had been working on this chapter while at work using paper and a pencil. (I know what are those? No one uses real paper anymore.) After my computer got fixed and I lost everything I had on my other stories I still had my hard copy of this. So this is the first chapter in any of my stories to get updated. Thank you all for sticking with me. _**It has been so long since my original post on this story that I suggest that you go back and re read Chapter 1. I also did some editing on it to make it fit this chapter a bit.**_

* * *

**Chapter two: Why I Did It.**

**Rose POV**

Death held me in its grasp and from somewhere in the darkness of death, came light, color and the most beautiful music. My pain left and I felt free. Again the darkness took me over but this time it was sleep and not death that held me.

My thoughts ran to Dimitri and the baby. I miss Dimitri so much and I know it sounds corny but without him my existence has been empty. I know he will never forgive me for sleeping with Adrian. If only Jessie Zeklos could have kept his jealousy to himself. Now I have lost the love of my life and I have a baby that I never planned on having.

I don't even know how I feel about it, the baby. I don't hate it, though I am sure some people might think I do since I wanted to abort it. The baby never asked to be born into this fucked up situation. I don't know how to be a mom. I have lost the love of my life and this baby is the living breathing reminder that I betrayed Dimitri. I don't hate this baby but I don't love it ether.

I guess you could say that I care for its wellbeing. In our society Adoption is rare. Moroi are obsessed with bloodlines so they tend not to adopt a child unless, it is one from their own bloodline. The adoption of a Dhampir child is kind of unheard of. Female Guardians who find themselves pregnant usually end up ether quitting or leaving the baby with a sister or cousin who has decided to live in the communes. Some do what my mother did. Her Moroi let her keep me till I was four years old then I was sent to live at St Vladamir's Academy. I don't have any family other than my mom and dad. I don't want to quit; so as shitty as it sounds, I plan on going the Janine Hathaway route. I hate that I am going to be doing that to this kid since I hated it being done to me but I have no real option. That is why I wanted to abort. I wanted to spare the baby. Strange thing is, part of me was relieved to find out it was too late and I would have to go through with the pregnancy.

A week ago I decided to start living in my apartment. Sasha and Andrew are very kind but I figured that I better get used to the idea of being alone. I spent my morning putting all the little clothes Adrian and Lissa have bought for the baby into the drawers. I have to admit that I have not picked out anything for the baby. Lissa and Adrian picked out the furniture and had the walls painted butter yellow and sage green. Lissa, Mia, Sasha, Adrian and even Christian picked out all the clothes and linins. I insisted on paying for most of it because this child is my responsibility. I did allow Adrian to pay for some because he is the father. I know I should have called for help when I went into labor but I was in so much pain and it was all I could do to crawl back to my bed in the next room, let alone get to my phone which was charging in the living room.

Labor was quick, when the baby came out all I could think about was keeping it warm. I don't know how I did it without really looking too close but I cut the cord with the little scissors from the nursery kit and tied it in a knot. Then I wrapped the baby up in a fluffy towel.

I was bleeding and I knew it was serious. It occurred to me that I could call and save my own life or let nature take its course and spare Dimitri from having to see me around court with Adrian's baby and I could give the baby the chance to be with someone who would love and care for it. I sat down and began a letter to my friends. I know that they will be upset with me but I hope they understand why I did it.

The baby cried while I was writing. It must have been instinct but I picked it up, careful not to look at it I bared my breast rubbing the nipple against its lips till I felt it latch on. I felt a sharp pain but it faded quickly. I don't want this child to hate me for he choice that I am making so I asked my friends to please give it a reason to be proud of me, despite all the mistakes I have made.

I held the baby for a while praying for it to have a happy life with Lissa and Christian. When it was asleep I laid it in the bassinet Adrian had bought. I am sad to say that I have not told my parents about the baby. I was ashamed to tell them that I slept with Adrian. When I went to cover my breast I noticed two tiny pinpricks of blood near my nipple. If I didn't know better I would think that they were little fang marks.

I knew I didn't have much time left. In my heart I knew Mason was waiting for me, to take me home. For reasons I still can't figure out I kissed my finger and pressed it to the baby's forehead. I didn't want to die here in front of the baby so I left the apartment and headed towards the woods. I left my coat in the apartment because well I knew that it wouldn't matter in the long run. The dress I wore went to just below my knee and it was wet with blood. I shivered from the cold November breeze.

I reached the wall without any one seeing me. There is a gate that lead's out but ironically enough it is not locked. It is used for the guardians because we patrol both the inside and the outside of the wall. The wards are about fifty yards past the wall. I began to feel dizzy but I forced myself to move forward. The last thing I want is some Guardian to stumble across my body while doing patrol. Adrian will find my note and they will come looking, better that they be looking for a body then find one unexpectedly.

I walked as far as I possibly could and when I could go no farther I saw Mason standing just ahead of me by a stream. I lay down. Mason knelt next to me and stroked my cheek, a sad look upon his face. The touch of his hand held no pressure but it was cool and comforting. Death was taking me; I knew its familiar hold, from that darkness I heard an Angel voice. Whatever the angel was saying I could not say; but soon I felt myself wrapped in love flying with the Angel. It was the Angel that brought me to the place of color, light and music.

Sleep held me and to be honest I didn't want to wake up. Yes my dreams haunted me with a replay of my life from the time Dimitri was transformed back, to when it all began. I wanted to stay in my dreams.

(The Backstory)

I had been dating Adrian since I got back from Russia. He was wonderful to me for those 2 ½ months. When Lissa Eddie and I went on out little adventure to learn how to transform a Strigoi, he forgave me for lying to him. I admit I loved him but it was nothing compared to what I had once had with Dimitri. That day in the church when Dimitri told me that Love fades and his did, I decided that I would force myself to move on.

Adrian had been a gentleman all this time and never pushed me to be intimate with him. That night after having dinner with him in my room we started with kissing and caressing. Adrian was pulling away when I began to pull his shirt up. He took my hint and began to kiss me with renewed passion. We had both our shirts off and were headed to my bed when I remembered about condoms. I quickly found out Adrian was too much of a gentleman to presume he should bring some but admitted he had a box in his room at His Aunt's house. (Apparently Daniela still puts his clothes away at her home, so he hides the personal stuff at Tatiana's.) After teasing him about not having his own place, I suggested we take a walk to go get them.

On the way he asked me how my day was and I ended up telling him about what happened at the church. He listened quietly reading my aura, as was his way. By the time we reached Tatiana's manor he told me that we would not make love but that he wanted to stay with me and hold me tonight. Honestly this sounded perfect to me.

As we turned back he saw one of Tatiana's guards patrolling. Something about his aura told Adrian that the guardian had been compelled. I whipped out my cell and made a call to Captain Croft as we quickly entered the manor. I had barely finished telling him that something was suspicious at the Queen's manor when I heard a gasp then a terrified scream from upstairs.

I ran up the stairs as fast as I could. I could hear whimpers and struggling and I followed it. Bursting through the door I saw a Dhampir holding Tatiana with her arms behind her and exposing her chest. Tasha Ozera was holding a stake with two hands. I threw myself in front of Tatiana taking the stake to my chest instead. I heard the hissing of air as it bubbled out of my lung. I used strength from the darkness to continue to fight; though I must say that with my injury my strength was easily matched by Tasha.

In my peripheral vision I saw Adrian come to his Aunts rescue. I could only guess by the Dhampir male's petrified expression that Adrian was using Super compulsion on him. Tatiana ran to push a panic button. Tasha began screaming at me.

"It's all, your fault Rose. You are the example that they hid behind when they passed that stupid law. You are the slut that kept Dimitri from loving me. If he had left with me in December he would never have been there for the attack in April. He was turned because of you; you're nothing but a filthy blood whore!"

As she screamed she threw fire at me; real fire that burns, not the harmless kind that Christian used on Jessie Zeklos back in Academy. I dropped and tried to roll the fire out; but each time I rolled it pressed the hot stake farther into my lung. Each time I seceded in putting out some flame she would bombard me with more. It felt as if she was concentrating her aim at my upper body. I could smell the sickening stench of my own flesh and hair burning.

From nowhere came a dozen hands patting me down with the quilt. Once the flames were gone I opened my eyes but all I could see was very fuzzy images. Cooled air flowed over my flesh. A hand covered my eyes and I felt the sensation of being healed. When the hand lifted I could see two sets of green eyes looking down on me with concern. Tatiana held her hands about a foot over me, cooling my body with her element. Adrian looked exhausted from the super compulsion as well as healing my eyes.

"Don't tell Lissa it was me. Keep her away from me, Christian is going to need her when he learns about Tasha." I don't know if they heard me because I couldn't make much sound.

After that I passed out. Several times I felt death's pull but I fought it. I am not sure how much time passed but I had a feeling it had been more than a few hours.

The strangled sound of a hoarse moan woke me up. Through the haze of drugs I felt pain. This time the moan was accompanied by more pain. Slowly I opened my eyes to see the most beautiful emerald green eyes waiting for me. I couldn't see his face because he wore a medical mask like a doctor would use for surgery. He had a paper gown over his clothes.

"Hey Lil Dhampir, you had me worried about you."

"Hey." I croaked out. My throat felt dry and rough. The pain of speaking was excruciating. Adrian poured some water into a cup on the table side tray. He popped a straw in and held it to my lips. The water was cool and soothing.

"Don't talk too much little Dhampir." Once I drank my fill he set the cup down.

"How bad is it?" His eyes gave him away when I asked the question.

"I won't lie to you because I love you too much. It's bad Rose. She punctured your lung and broke two ribs in the process. But the burns are what really have us worried. You have burns covering 80% of your body. Most are first degree but she really hit your head and chest hard. You have second degree burns on your back, and stomach but your face, head, arms and chest received third degree. They are worried about infection. You are basically one big open wound."

"I feel like hamburger meat. Well done."

He pulled out a mirror from the bedside table. I looked like a mummy. The only skin I could see was what was around my eyes and lips. It was pink with red and brown splotches. Painfully I lifted my right hand a little and saw that my wrappings covered my arms and hands too.

"I have tried to heal you but I really can't do much. I kept my promise; you don't know how hard it has been not to bring Lissa in here. Especially after I hear you kept trying to die on the table."

"I wasn't trying to die. In fact I fought against it. How did Chris take the news?"

"He doesn't know yet, I thought it best if he hears it from me instead of the Royal Guardians. Everyone has been sworn to secrecy. I didn't want to leave you till I knew you were awake. I will be leaving to talk to him in a few minutes."

I felt Adrian lightly place his hand over mine. He didn't press but still I felt pain from his touch. He must have seen it in my aura. He pulled away.

"Sorry I can't heal you. I was surprised that I was able to heal your sight. I have been trying to heal you but I can't."

"I'll be fine in a week or so when Lissa can come heal me. Just let her take care of Sparky first."

My eyes began to close. I knew that sleep was taking me again. Immediately I began to dream and I knew Adrian was dream walking with me. Adrian brought me to the garden of his grandmother's home near court. I loved it here. Adrian took me into his arms. Here in my dreams I was not in pain and my wounds didn't exist.

"Rose, before I leave to talk to Lissa and Christian about Tasha, I want to tell you something. I love you with all my heart. You are the most amazing and beautiful woman alive. I know I am going to kick myself for this but I am letting you go. You don't love me the way you love him. If you tried to make yourself love me the way you want to, you will end up hating me. I would rather be your friend and brother than have you hate me."

"I do love you Adrian." It was the truth but so was what he said.

"Lil' Dhampir, I know you do, but I can see that you love him more. I love you enough to let you go. I only hope that he will see how much he loves you too."

Adrian held me for a little while longer as we both cried. He kissed my cheek before sending me back to my own dreams.


	3. Why I did it, Pt 2

March 18, 2011

This weekend I am going to the LA Religious Educators Congress in Anaheim. I love going every year because I meet so many other people who share my faith from all over the world. It is the largest Catholic convention, about 40,000 people are here for it.

**

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Chapter 3: Why I Did it. Part 2 **

**The back story.**

**Rose POV**  
**When Somebody loved me.**

Sleep would not contain me any longer, no matter life goes on. The medication they gave me for the pain was only dulling it but I am strong and I refuse to ask for more. I kept my eyes closed because it hurt to open them.

I am sad about how I must look right now but I know that after Lissa has helped Christian deal with his pain and I let them tell her about me; she will heal me and I will look normal again. If it is too much for her then I can ask Abe, to send for Oksana. I am not sure if they will be able to make my hair grow back fast but as long as I have hair to grow then I will be happy.

I must have drifted off to sleep because I was woken to the sound of a man's voice gasping. My eyes flew open and I winced from the pain. He collapsed into the chair by my bed, taking my gauze wrapped hand in his. I was not prepared for the pain and I cried out. Horror struck he gently set my hand back down. Tears began to roll down his cheeks.

"Why are you here?" I didn't recognize my own raspy voice.

"Roza, I am so stupid. After Lissa brought me back I felt numb. You wanted something from me that I was not capable of. All I was capable of feeling for you was guilt for treating you the way I did when you were in Russia. Just looking at you brought back guilt and… well that is why I pushed you away." I could tell he had been holding back on me.

"Love fades; I know you don't have to explain to me that you don't love me anymore. I get it, I give up, I'm going to move on with my life and let you move on with yours; which brings me back to my question. Why are you here?"

"Roza I was wrong. Love doesn't fade, it can't. It can be obscured by other feelings and stresses; it can go unacknowledged, love can be changed into something dark but love does not fade. My love for you certainly has not."

"What changed? Just Sunday you hated me and wanted nothing to do with me." My voice shook and my tears fell from my eyes into the gauze that wrapped my face.

"I lost the person who matters most to me in my life."

"Lissa, what happened to her?" I closed my eyes and went into Lissa's head. She was in Christian's apartment holding him as he cried. He was not being allowed to see or speak to Tasha. Lissa couldn't understand why Tasha would try to kill The Queen and a Guardian. I could tell from her thoughts that she didn't know I was the Guardian who was attacked. With relief I pulled myself out of her head.

"Dimitri, Lissa is perfectly safe. She is with Christian right now. Perhaps you could help her comfort him, but please don't tell her about me."

"No, Roza, you are the most important person in my life. I lost you. First when I pushed you away and a few times when you were in surgery. Roza you died on the table three times." I cannot let my heart hope he is telling me the truth.

"I know but I fought the pull of darkness and I am here. Speaking of being here; how did you know I am here? Lissa doesn't even know?"

"I was with Lissa when Adrian came to talk to her. He told her that he needed to talk to Christian about a grave matter and he requested that she come because he would need her support. I went along with them. I was dumbfounded to hear what Tasha had done.

When Adrian was done explaining he suggested that he and I give them some privacy. He asked me to go with him somewhere. I don't like him but I felt that I should go with him and listen. I knew it had to be about you and I was right. He told me he knew about what I had said to you. He told me that because of it you were going to make yourself move on, that you had decided to give yourself to him.

I thought he was gloating and I tried to walk away but he used compulsion to make me follow him. I fought it but it was the strongest compulsion I have ever felt. He made me listen to him explain that the two of you were going to Tatiana's manor to retrieve some protection he hides there when you discovered something amiss.

By that time we were at the manor door. Roza my stomach clenched with fear when I realized what it was he was trying to tell me. The moment the door was opened I smelled blood, your blood. I ran up the stairs following your sent to the master bedroom. It was all I could do not to vomit at what I saw and smelled. There was a pool of your blood in the center of a large burn mark on the hardwood, a singed quilt not far away. The room smelled heavy of burned flesh.

Roza I felt like I had lost my mind. I thought you were gone and I wanted to die so I could be with you."

"Why?" I interrupted him.

"Since my return I have been angry and jealous over you dating Ivashkov. Until that moment when I thought you were gone, I didn't realize how much I need you. I need to know you are alive somewhere on this planet because I cannot imagine a world where you don't exist. Then Adrian said the two most beautiful words I have ever heard. She's Alive.

He walked me over here and explained that you don't want Lissa to know you are here. He compelled me not to tell her. He also told me that he is willing to step aside as long as I don't stop you from having a friendship with him. Rose I can't believe you were going to give yourself to him."

"What would it have mattered if I did? You didn't want me. If this hadn't happened then you still wouldn't want me. If you didn't want me Sunday then why would you want me now that I am so damaged that I am unrecognizable?"

"I never stopped wanting you. That's part of the problem. I want you too much and it frightens me."

The way he said it brought a chill to my spine. His eyes held intensity like he was afraid to elaborate; he was afraid of my reaction.

"What do you mean?"

"Rose, I am not quite back to being a normal Dhampir anymore. I am faster and stronger then I was before being awakened. My senses are a little better than a Moroi but not as good as a Strigoi. According to the blood tests I am not the fifty, fifty mix that makes up a Dhampir; I am sixty present Moroi and forty present human. I don't know why but Queen Tatiana was there when the Doctors examined me. She had a spirit wielder from my home town with her. She had the spirit wielder compel the doctor to testify that I was completely Dhampir and had tested exactly the same as the last Guardian physical."

He paused and looked into my eyes. This was all very interesting but I still could not find any reason why he pushed me away.

"Sounds like you will be an even better Guardian but I still don't understand how that could make you fear me."

He leaned closer, his eyes almost desperate.

"Rose I have fangs!" His voice was intense though barely louder than a breath. "As you know Strigoi fangs never retract. They are fully visible from the base at the gums in front of the eye teeth down too an eighth of an inch past the rest of the teeth."

"I remember and I hate to inform you that they do lengthen another eighth of an inch just before feeding." He looked a bit shocked but he continued on.

"That may be but I never noticed and I guess you would know better than I' but that is beside the point. You know Moroi fangs retract enough that if they know how to speak and smile without showing them then they can be around humans without alerting them."

"Dimitri, I saw your teeth the day that they were testing you outside in the sun just Saturday. No fangs"

"That is because mine retract all the way. I don't want for blood and according to the blood tests, I don't need it the way Moroi do but it would be good for me some times. I said I don't want for blood but that isn't entirely true. When I am near you I feel the desire to drink from you. The day you came to the church and you looked so beautiful, you smelled so intoxicating; thought and images of us making love in the cabin and the times when I held you captive, drinking from you daily bombarded me. That is what frightens me. It is not just the things I did to you that frighten me. It is what I want to do with you, that scares me to the core. That is why I pushed you away."

"Pushing me away isn't the answer; talking with me about it is."

My eyes began to close on me I tried to force them open but before I knew it sleep pulled me under. I could not figure out if I had just had the most beautiful dream that Dimitri still loved me or if he actually came to see me. Sadly I realized that the pain medication must be making me delusional. When I wake I will find out that while I was dreaming Dimitri was with Lissa and Christian. I know if I push into her head I will probably see him there. He would no doubt be in the background looking stoic but I would be able to see his worry for Lissa in his eyes. Instead of checking to see if my theory was true I opted to stay in my drug induced delusion.

~o~*~o~

When I woke up again Tatiana was seated beside me reading a book. I gave a sigh when I realized that I had to have been delusional when I imagined that Dimitri had visited me. Love fades, I reminded myself.

Hearing my sigh Tatiana closed her book and focused on me. Prior to y graduation she had always behaved as if she hated me. Since I came to court she had begun to make an effort to be kinder to me at least in private. Her eyes shown with concern but as with Adrian and the Dimitri in my delusion, she wore a mask and gown.

"It is good to see you finally awake. We have been very worried about you. Somehow despite all the precautions you have managed to get a very bad infection. The past four days that you have been unconscious have had us beside ourselves. Adrian has been wearing himself out trying to heal you and well also trying to keep Guardian Belikov calm. "

"Dimitri? He really came to see me?" Tatiana smiled warmly at me.

"Yes and he has not left your side since. He has had to be compelled more than once to calm down and wait. He would not eat or rest. Eventually I had to have him sedated. He is in the next bed over. I know you would want him near."

I didn't know how to respond to this but Tatiana didn't seem to mind. She smiled at me knowingly.

"Where is Adrian?"

"He has been trying to find your father and mother. Apparently Abe has hired her so that they could be together. He has taken her on an extended vacation. Since you seem to see it fit to keep all your numbers in your head instead of your phone contacts he has had a hard time finding them. In addition to keeping Dimitri calm and trying to heal you he has been trying to dream walk with them. He finally found them this morning. He has been coordinating with them to bring a spirit wielder he knows to come heal you. He said you would know her because she has healed you in the past."

"Oksana?"

"Yes, Oksana and her husband Guardian Mark Shepherd will be here tomorrow night. Your parents will be here in the morning. You might be willing to wait for Vasilisa to heal you but the rest of us are a bit less patient."

"Pardon the way that this is going to sound but why would you care about me. I am just another Dhampir?"

"Rosemarie, you are no ordinary Dhampir. I have let my own prejudges and personal pain color the way I have ruled and the way that I have behaved. I am afraid that in the past I have focused a lot of unnecessary anger towards you."

"What changed? Why don't you hate me like before?"

"Aside from the fact that you jumped in and saved me from being murdered, over the past year you have proven to me that you are more dedicated and loyal than I have given you credit for. Also you save the life of someone who is very important to me."

She looked at me and though I know my face was covered with gauze I am sure my curiosity shown through my eyes.

"I am about to tell you a story that is so secret that only 5 people knew about it. Three of them have died leaving only me and one other. I have never shared this information with a soul; and though I suspect that in the interim perhaps one or two others may have found out, though I trust that they would keep it to themselves. I'm I right to believe that you will keep this story a secret for me?"

"I promise to you as a Guardian that I will guard it with my life."

"Arranged marriages are rather unheard of now but when I was young it was slightly more common among royals. I had an arranged marriage to my very distant cousin Marcus. We both come from different branches of the Ivashkov family; I am an Ivashkov as are all my children and grandchildren. Marcus and I grew to care for each other and we had three children together in our short five years together.

We were both very active in politics and we attended many functions together. I had a guardian by the name of Yevette Belikova. She had a gift of knowing things before they happened. She would get images and messages; mostly it was just trivial things. One day she told Marcus and me to stay home and not attend a very important ball being held at court. I felt inclined to trust her but Marcus felt she was just sprouting nonsense. When little Marc sick with a cold I opted to stay home and take care of him. Marcus chose to go without me; he and his guardian never came home.

I was angry at him for leaving me, at Yevette for not fighting harder to convince him to stay home and at myself for not trying to keep him home. Prior to this Yevette and I had been very close, not as close as you are to Vasilisa but still we were closer than most Moroi are to their guardians. I am afraid that after Marcus's death I turned all my anger onto Yevette. I told her that I never wanted to hear another one of her predictions, ever.

A year after I had lost Marcus I met a new man. Though he was not a royal, he was very active in Moroi politics. We were on different sides politically and I shudder to think how he would feel about the choices I have made since. Politics aside we were a perfect match. He was so kind and loving and just so wonderful. For the first time in my life I knew what it was to be _IN LOVE_. By this time I had been chosen to succeed the thrown. The former Queen gave consent for us to marry but the wedding was to be a week before the coronation.

Now from the time that I first met Marcus, Yevette had always looked at him with pity. I refused to ask her why because I was afraid of her answer. A few days after getting consent to marry I caught Marcus in an argument with Yevette. She was begging and badgering him to stay home from an important business meeting. I pleaded with him to stay but he would not change his mind. With a final kiss goodbye he left never to return. Shortly after I received a menacing letter telling me how he missed me and that he would be waiting for me so he could turn me."

"I know that kind of letter. I have 18 of them in a box; one for every week he was Strigoi. I am sorry that he suffered that fate."

"As am I Rosemarie; and I am sorry that you had to know the kind of pain I have felt. Yevette did have something surprising to say the night he left that would prove to be both a blessing and a sorrow to me.

"Last night your love gave you a part of him to keep with you." She then touched my stomach and said a blessing in Russian. After months of courting me I had finally given myself to Nathanial; we had only had intimate relations once and I didn't think that I would become pregnant so easily. True to her prediction within weeks I began to have morning sickness and exhibit other signs of pregnancy. I was seven weeks along when the love of my life began to send me letters telling me how he wanted to awaken me. I conferred with the Queen and she suggested that I ether decline the thrown or else give the child to someone I trust. I made the decision to ask my eldest niece and her husband to raise my child; as their own.

Rebekka and Grigori lived here in Pennsylvania. I didn't want to be far from my child and yet I had to have an excuse to be near him without him knowing me as his mother. I postponed my coronation for two years with the excuse that I decided to move Court to America where I could be close to my favorite niece. My children and I stayed with them for a year till I had given birth to my son. I named him Nathanial Dimitri Ivashkov.

The day after I had my baby Guardian Belikova came to me. She said it was time for her to leave guardianship and have a family of her own. I couldn't believe she was leaving me. I was well protected but still I felt as if she was abandoning me to the wolves. The anger and resentment grew into such a dark hate.

As soon as my manor was built I made the difficult transition of living without my son. My three older children were young and didn't realize that Nathan was their brother and after moving away they treated him as a beloved cousin. Rebekka only had one child a year older than Nathan, her name is Ninka. Grigori was kind to Nathan till Rebekka gave birth to Maxim, once Grigori had a son of his own he was never quite as gentle with my poor Nathan. Maxim drowned in a creak while out playing with his siblings one afternoon. I guess Grigori blamed Nathan for not saving him even though Nathan was only 5 at the time and there was a nanny with them who fell asleep in the grass while they played.

Rebekka and I didn't know how badly he was treated till after Grigori passed away." Tatiana paused for a moment, and looked over at the sleeping form of Dimitri. "Grigori started drinking and doing some very hard drugs. Little Nathan wanted so much for his father's love; and like all little boys he wanted to be just like him. He tried so hard to impress Grigori, and he would ask to go with him everywhere. Apparently there was once when Nathan was still small that he begged Grigori to take him along with him for the day. Grigori was headed to his blood whore's house. When she refused to have sex with him in front of Nathan he beat her and raped her, right in front of my boy. Had I known what kind of treatment he was going to get by his adoptive father I would had never have taken the crown. I would have chosen to be a mother to Nathan instead."

"But there was also the threat that Nathanial would learn of his son." She nodded at me sadly.

"Yes the fear of Nathanial had factored greatly in my decision. Though by the time he was four the letters had stopped abruptly. I found out years later what had stopped them. After leaving me Yevette set off to find Nathanial and release his soul. It took her Four Years to find him and during that time she had a child of her own. Yevette came to visit me bringing her daughter with her.

Karolena Eva Belikova was beautiful, even more so than her mother. She had brown hair and eyes the color of rich chocolate. Nathan happened to meet her here at court and he fell for her. There was something sad yet resigned in Yevette's eyes when she saw that they fell in love. I thought it was the fact that he would never be able to marry her but I realize now that she knew he would mistreat her, yet for some reason she thought it was a fate she could not fight.

As you know Karolena had four children with Nathan; Karolena, Dimitri, Sonya and Victoria. I am sure that you also know he married Daniella and had Adrian with her." I nodded.

"Nathan had taken up drinking and doing hard drugs as he had scene Grigori do. It was during those times that he was the worst. He did to Dimitri's gentle mother what he had seen Grigori do to his blood whore. Dimitri decided that day to make his father stop and he did. Since Nathan has stopped drinking and doing drugs, he has become a much calmer man; enough that Daniella has stayed with him but I am afraid it was not soon enough to save any relationship he had with Karolena's children. I suspect that he has other Dhampir children out there but if he does he has little to no part in their lives."

"If I understand you correctly; not only are Dimitri and Adrian, brothers; they are also your grandsons?" Tatiana nodded. "Do they know this?"

"Adrian suspects that Dimitri is his brother but he has no knowledge of being anything other than my favorite grandnephew. I suspect that Dimitri has been told the truth by his grandmother Yeva. I ask that you never tell anyone my secret. I would hate to have Nathan learn the truth through gossip." She paused for a moment with a sad faraway look in her eyes.

"Rose when I heard that Dimitri had been taken and turned, I re-lived my nightmare of Nathan's horrible fate. I publicly denounced your behavior but privately I thank you for going out to try to release him. I am aware of some of your exploits in trying to find a way to bring him back. Thank you but if you ever pull anything like that again without consulting me first, I will have to punish you.

As for stringing Adrian along well, Adrian has explained most of that to me. I understand that you really did try to love him and that unfortunately as hard as you tried you could not get past the love you felt for Dimitri. I may not like it but if Adrian can forgive you than I will too."

I could not help the yon that escaped me and tore at the edges of my lips. This had been the longest I have stayed awake since getting injured

"Sleep Rose, when you wake Oksana will be here to heal you." I obeyed the Queen willingly.

Ok just so you know Dimitri's older sister is named after her mother.

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**POP QUIZ**

1. Do you think that there is a reason Dimitri has fangs or that he desires only Rose's blood?

2. How long do you think it will take for Lissa to find out about Rose?

3. How will she find out?

4. Why would Yeva allow Olena and Nathan to have a relationship if she knew he would mistreat her?

Ok that is the quiz. I have more and will post it soon.

Please review cuz I love reading them.  
Suzanna


	4. Why I Did It pt 3

March 22, 2011

Just a few clarifier's

Christian was just as unaware as Lissa about Rose being injured.

This is Rose's memories of her recent past, everything that led to her getting pregnant in the first place.

I will be getting back to the present with the next chapter. Your questions about the baby will be answered then.

Thank you to Rangarose for being my beta. Please read her story** Life Changes Sometimes.** It is really a great story. It is well thought out and has a lot of emotion in it.

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Chapter 4: Why I Did It. Pt. 3

Since I got injured I have been too week to put up my walls. Lissa has had hers up to her normal capacity but it just takes the slightest charge of emotion to pull me into her head. Unfortunately this means that I have had to feel Lissa try to use sex as a means of comforting Christian. I can now say that I know Dimitri is better in the sack than Christian and I will never be able to look fire crotch in the eye again.

I felt the familiar sensation of getting pulled into Lissa's head once again.

**Through Lissa's eyes**

The Guardian's haven't allowed Christian to visit Tasha at all until today. I am nervous for him and vowed to be by his side. Walking up the steps of the guardian building I have a sinking feeling.

I wonder if Dimitri has gone to see her, probably not; he has been gone on personal business for a few days. I guess the stress of pushing Rose away again and then finding out his best friend tried to kill the queen has taken its toll. I hope he has gone to see his family, as we had been talking about.

I haven't seen Rose ether but after what happened I think she is off kicking the stuffing out of some Dummies in the gym. I really have been a bad friend by not going to find her. I know how much it probably crushed her to have him be so cruel. I understand why he did it though. Finding out that he had fangs and realizing that they only come out around Rose really freaked him out. I had tried to explain to him that he should talk to her about it. Rose doesn't like the high but she was willing to feed me for two years I bet if he needed blood she would not hesitate.

Christian wrapped one hand around my waist and held my hand with the other as we were escorted to the holding cells. He was trembling. We went past the last door accompanied by four Guardians. Tasha was rocking herself in a fetal position. She had a manic look in her eyes.

"Christian! I knew you would come. You have to get me out of here."

"Why Aunt Tasha, why did you do it? What would possess you to try to kill the Queen?" There were tears running freely down his face.

"I did it for Dimitri and the children we will have together. I can't let my babies go off to get killed at 16!"

"Dimitri loves someone else." I was as gentle as possible but she turned on me. I could see her aura light up then flicker. Christian must have felt her magic flare because he responded with a fire block.

"Don't lay a hand on her!"

"Then tell her it is useless to bring up that filthy bloodwhore. Even if she survived getting stabbed by her own stake I doubt that he likes his meat that well done." Tasha cackled. My mind went blank. I couldn't process anything she just said. I heard her scream out! "She used to call me scar face bitch but at least I have a face!"

I was being pulled along quite forcefully and we had gotten half way to the infirmary before it registered. Oh my God, it was Rose; Rose was the guardian that Tasha tried to kill! Tears began to roll down my cheeks blurring my vision. If not for Christian pulling me along, I would not have made it to the infirmary so fast.

He found out the room number and pulled me along. In the elevator I thought about all the times that I had tried to talk to her through the bond but she never called or text me in response. How many times over this past five days my crazy emotions have been on a roller-coaster, yet not once did she call to give me support let alone comfort Christian? He is like a brother to her and she cares about him so much yet she wasn't there for him. The only explanation for her absence was that she couldn't come. Oh God I hope she is alive. I will KILL Tasha myself if Rose is dead!

We burst into the room; I took a quick look around. Dimitri was asleep in the second bed. Adrian was sitting on a chair and I could tell he was in a deep sleep. I looked to the first bed. It couldn't be; I couldn't tell if it was Rose. The patient was dressed in gauze like a mummy from head to toe. I looked at the aura and saw the unmistakable shadows.

I ran to the bed not thinking to be careful; I sat down and placed my hands on her. Her eyes popped open and she screamed out in pain. Before I knew it I was ripped away from her. Dimitri held me in a vice like grip while Adrian approached me trying to calm me as I fought to go back and heal her. Christian stood there horror struck by the sight of Rose.

**Back in Rose's head**

"Liss, Liss it is ok you can heal me just be very careful." I whispered weakly. Dimitri let her go and she walked up to me slowly. I closed my eyes when she sat on the bed. The smallest movements hurt. She placed her hands on my torso and chest. I felt her summon spirit and channel it into me. The pain began to ease slowly. The pain in my chest however remained even after the rest was near gone.

The nurse, who had come running in when she heard my cries of pain, stood by and watched my monitors. When Lissa was done healing me she sagged and it was Christian who carried her to the bed that Dimitri had been sleeping on. The nurse left but returned shortly with a Doctor and a feeder. She scolded Lissa and Christian for coming into my room without first putting on a mask, gloves and a paper gown. The feeder went to Lissa's bed and as soon as she had been fed, Lissa looked much better.

"I am afraid I need at least you men to leave the room, I need to examine Guardian Hathaway to see how much the Princess was able to heal."

"I want to stay." Dimitri looked over at me with pleading eyes.

"Sit on the other bed but close the curtain." I could see that he was about to protests but I gave him a glare. He sighed and went to the other bed closing the curtain around him. Adrian wrapped an arm around Christian and led him out of the room.

The doctor started with my lower body; carefully cutting the gauze away. The burned skin was still there but it was easy to see that underneath was new skin. Using saline and fresh gauze the doctor washed a portion of skin. I felt no pain and the old, burnt skin came off with little effort. It was light and pink like baby skin and there was little evidence of my natural tan. She continued all the way up. Lissa began sobbing when she realized how badly I had been burned.

I really didn't know the extent of my burns till I heard the doctor say that it looked like I would be able to keep all my fingers. It felt strange having someone slowly expose my body. When the doctor reached the patch of gauze that covers my stab wound Lissa gasped. I looked down to find that I still had a wound, though it had been closed with stitches. The skin around the stab wound was still burned. Lissa instinctively reached out touching it lightly; I could feel her magic flow to me but the pain didn't go away in the slightest. I asked Lissa to leave it for now; reluctantly she did.

The Doctor redressed the wound and then continued taking off the rest of the gauze. Thankfully the skin on my neck and face looked light and pink the way the rest of my body did. My hair was only short stubble but I guess I am lucky to have any hair. Augh I think I will never forget the smell of my hair and flesh burning. The Doctor gave me a gown and told me I could talk with my friends for a while but she would send a nurse in to take me to the showers.

I spend several tense minutes with Lissa trying to explain to her why I wouldn't let anyone tell her I was Injured. Christian was hurt with me for not telling him either. I was surprised that he refused to go back to see his aunt. Instead he and Lissa stayed at my side with Adrian and Dimitri. Lissa was happy to see that Dimitri and I had begun to work things out.

I still had the infection but since I was not one continuous, open wound Dr. Levikova said that my visitors no longer had to be gowned up but they were to wear gloves and wash their hands upon entering and exiting my room. I was well enough to eat so Adrian ordered an extra-large pepperoni pizza and meat lovers supreme to be sent to my room. To my surprise, but even more to Christian and Lissa's; Tatiana came with a batch of fresh made brownies. Tatiana didn't stay but she said it was a token of appreciation for saving her life.

That night Adrian left to stay with his Aunt but Lissa, Christian and Dimitri refused to leave. Honestly I did feel better with them there. I wished Adrian would have stayed but he promised to dream walk with me so I didn't mind so much. Liss and Chris took the second bed in the room. The Dr gave me permission to have Dimitri in my bed but he had to be fully gloved and fitted in scrubs with a mask. We were not to share a blanket and no funny business; like I would do that with Liss and Chris in the room. It was nice to sleep next to Dimitri.

I woke to the sound of people talking. When I opened my eyes I saw the smiling face of Oksana, behind her stood Mark.

"Good Morning, I see that part of my work has been done for me. How are you feeling?' She whispered softly. I was still to tired to really answer but she didn't seem to really need one.

Dimitri was still asleep with his arm wrapped around me. He must have really been exhausted not to wake up when they came in. When Oksana spoke he tightened his grip on me and nuzzled his face closer in my neck. Both of them smiled at us.

"I am glad to know that the story we were told was true, and you were able to save him." She narrowed her eyes at him for a moment and he let go of me to scratch his head then rewrapped his arm around me.

"Hmm, that is strange; the story didn't say anything about that?" Mark whispered in her ear.

"No but remember what she said about fate having a purpose that we do not yet see, and for this he will be more than before and all that he is will be for her?"

"Ksoni, you know I don't understand most of the things that old woman says. I guess we will have to wait and see."

Mark then turned to me. "Rose we are going to get something to eat and then we will be back. Take your time and let your friends wake up when they are ready"

After another hour of snuggling in Dimitri's arms I woke up again. This time I felt Dimitri gently running his fingers up and down my arm. I sighed in contentment as he whispered "Good Morning Love" into my ear.

Soon Lissa and Christian woke up and decided to change and hit the feeders so that she would be at full strength. She wanted to try to heal me one more time before letting Oksana try. She was very excited to meet the other spirit wielder I had told her about.

When Oksana and Mark came back all my friends were back in my room. I had to have all the men leave the room so that I could have the Nurse expose the stab wound without exposing my right breast. Oksana let Lissa try to heal it but it didn't change in the slightest. She asked me again what I was stabbed with. When I said it was my stake she gasped.

"Rose, you shouldn't be alive!"

"It didn't get my heart."

"I know but you said you were on fire? The heat of the fire would have intensified the charms causing all the remaining magic to be used on you. The stake is an instrument of death. You should have died. I don't think I will be able to heal it on my own. Can we call the other spirit wielder, Adrian, in here to help us?"

"Yes but if you let him in you will have to let Dimitri, Christian and Eddie in too."

Once all of them were in my room she explained again why I should have died and that I would need the power of Lissa, Adrian and Oksana to heal me. Lissa put her hand over the wound while Adrian and Oksana both put a hand on her shoulders. Dimitri held me from behind and I could feel his love for me. The intensity of spirit began to overwhelm me. My chest felt like fire and ice. Slowly the wound closed leaving a slightly puckered patch of skin about an inch in diameter. My once beautiful breast was now marked with the evidence that one again I survived death.

After a while Lissa moved her hand from my wound to my head. The fire and Ice burned my scalp but when they were done I could feel hair tickle the back of my neck and shoulders. Dimitri pressed his cheek against my head and sighed. His hand began to stroke it.

"It is even softer and silkier than before. Like baby hair." His deep voice purred.

"Hey Rosie your hair is a bit on the curly side. It makes you look a bit more like your mom but in a good way."

"Thanks Fire Crotch." I still have trouble looking him in the eye after what I experienced through the bond.

~~*O*~~

Once my blood tests came back clear of infection, I was free to go. Instead of going to my tiny little studio apartment, Adrian brought me and Dimitri to a new condo. There was a bouquet of three dozen roses in a variety of colors: red, pink, cream, yellow, orange, and lavender; sitting in the middle of the coffee table. I picked up the card.

~o~O~o~

"Dear Rosemarie

Thank you for saving my life and that of the special person I spoke to you about. I want you and Dimitri to have this apartment. You will be Guarding Lissa soon as the assignments are announced and Dimitri will be assigned to the court. Good luck

Queen Tatiana.

~o~O~o~

"My Aunt wanted to thank you for being there when she needed you most. She told me that this condo is her gift to you and to Dimitri for having trained you."

"That was extremely nice of her." Dimitri exclaimed.

Adrian and I said our good byes and he left Dimitri and I alone.

Over the next few weeks Dimitri and I settled into a comfortable life together. The relationship was still illegal because we are both Dhampirs. To try and help, Tatiana proposed to lift the ban on Dhampir relationships and marriages as well as making marriages between Moroi and Dhampir acceptable, so that Oksana and Mark would not have to live in shame for the choice they made.

Of course the men on the counsel and some of the woman didn't agree. Their fear was that if Dhampirs could have exclusive relationships with their own kind they might stop having sex with Moroi. Also if they have exclusive relationships there would be less Dhampirs conceived.

Much to Tatiana's dislike a compromise was made. Dhampirs could have relationships with each other and even marry so long as one or both partners remain open to having relations with a Moroi till they produce a child. Once at least one child has been born they were free to be exclusive.

If a Moroi could prove that a Dhampir refused a sexual encounter because of the desire to be faithful to a Dhampir partner or if the Dhampir partner had purposefully prevented such relations from occurring then the offending partner would be sent to prison for five years.

The age decree was postponed by four years so that the Academies could use that time to prepare the Novices to graduate at 16. The Idea still turned my stomach but at least I knew that it turned Tatiana's just as much.

Around this time Adrian decided that I had been right about needing his own space. His cousin Sasha is using the house he inherited from his 'Grandmother' Rebekka so he rented a condo in a building near ours.

Dimitri and I had been together for nearly six months and even though I knew that there were times when Dimitri's fangs were extended and he thirst for me he never asked or tried to drink from me. It was apparent early on that he really didn't need blood to survive but I could feel his yearning sometimes. To be honest I didn't want the weakness that came with the blood loss or the high, but there was an inherent intimacy about giving blood that I desired. One day I decided to broach the subject with him. We sat together in front of the fireplace looking into each other's eyes and holding hands.

"Dimitri, do you look down on your mother for letting your father drink from her?"

"No, I don't. I do look down on him for taking advantage of her that way."

"Did you know I had a conversation with Olena about it once when I was there?"

"No I didn't, what did she tell you?" I sighed and tried to remember her exact words.

"She said; and I'm trying to use her exact words, as I remember them. I know Dimitri's father did many horrible things to me but I know that deep in him was a good and loving man. I loved the man inside of him; his true self that had been crushed by so much childhood pain. He was not so bad the first few years. It wasn't till after he almost lost his mother to Strigoi that he really changed to someone dark and twisted. Anyway you asked if I was ashamed of giving blood to my lover, when you give blood to someone you love, it is a wonderful feeling. When it is your partner and you give blood during sex it is so much more meaningful. There is a sense of giving and receiving at the same time. As you know a man leaves some of his essence in you when you make love, when you give him your blood you are doing the same for him. Yes there is still the high but even without the high I would have fed him."

"Wow she really said that?" I smiled at him and nodded.

"Remember when Lissa and I were away for those two years. I fed her every day or two. She is my best friend, sister, and bond mate; I love her and I do have to admit that though it wasn't a romantic kind of love I can understand what your mom was talking about. It felt good to know I was giving my friend something that she needed to be healthy and happy. I hated the high and the weakness of blood loss mostly because I needed to be strong to protect her."

"But how did you feel about me when I held you captive?"

"I hated that you were using it to keep me weak both body and mind. I missed you so much and kissing you beforehand was wonderful as long as I fooled myself into thinking you were you. I guess you could say I didn't like it because it was something done to manipulate me and it was not my choice. I got addicted to the endorphine high but that is not the same as really sharing intimacy like your mother described."

"Do you hate me for it?"

"No, you were not you."

"I still have the desire for your blood. Even now that we are talking about it I can feel my fangs. Roza how can you not hate me."

"Dimitri, Love, how could you expect me to hate the man I love with all my heart? Don't you see that even when you were a Strigoi, I loved you? You could turn into a purple alien and I would love you. I give to you everything I am; everything that has made me who I am, and everything I will become. I am yours heart, body and soul. Do you love me enough to give me all of you? I want you, everything you are, including the part of you that desire's my blood."

"Do you know what you are saying?"

"Yes I do."

I kissed both his hands and brought them to the buttons of my uniform shirt. We kissed as we slowly undressed each other. He kissed my neck teasing me with his fangs. We stayed kissing and caressing for a long while, rejoicing in the feel of being in each other's arms, feeling our skin brush against each other. The energy that we have always felt when we touch practically crackled around us. When Dimitri made us one I moaned as he breathed my name. He moved over me in a meaningful way, showing me with every stroke that he loved me more than anything. He kissed the scar above my breast where Tasha had staked me. When I was close to reaching my climax he kissed my neck tenderly before sinking his fangs into me. The sensation that burst forth the moment my blood flowed into him was more than enough to bring us both over the edge. He didn't take much blood but it was enough for me to know that this is what lovemaking is supposed to be; at least it is for us. Funny thing was that I didn't get the high like I did from Lissa or from him when he was Strigoi. Still, I felt like I was addicted to his bite…. No, that isn't the right description… I guess I have to say that I was meant for his bite; and he was meant for my blood.

I felt so complete and happy after that. Dimitri and I made love again before falling asleep content in each other's arms. The next morning Dimitri was already working his early shift when I woke up. I took great care to cover my beautiful bite mark with one of the scarves that Abe gave me. I was starved and I must have eaten to fast because I threw up everything. I took some green tea and dry toast before leaving for my shift. On my way there I heard a familiar voice behind me.

"So if it isn't Hathaway, is it true you and Belikov are an item?" I turned around to see Jessie Zeklos.

"My life is none of your business Zeklos."

"Oh but it is sweet thing, it is. I wanted you and he stopped me from having you. From what I understand I can have him arrested for interfering with us procreating."

My stomach fell. Oh God, I never thought anyone would go after Dimitri.

"It wouldn't have happened. I had no plans on having sex with you. Not then not ever."

"I really hope you will reconsider. I think that you should. After all I was just on my way to tell the counsel but if you could see it in your heart to change your mind I might keep it to myself. I will even give you two weeks to think about it." Jessie walked away before I could even react.

I pushed my thoughts to the back of my mind. Lissa, her other guardians and I were going to Lehigh and I needed my mind in the game. Eddie and Lissa sent me lots of concerned looks but I didn't tell them what was bothering me because I needed to focus. I didn't tell any of my usual gang, instead I confided in Mikhail Tanner. I didn't want to involve Dimitri in this yet; I couldn't let him worry about going to prison when he spent time incarcerated when he was first returned to Dhampir.

My time was not yet up when Jessie approached me again.

"I am getting impatient Rose, I want a decision."

"No, this happened a long time ago before the decree was passed."

"They never said it had to be current, and I have witnesses and signed affidavits. You have just pissed me off so now I am going to the counsel." He ran off and since we were in public I could do nothing to stop him.

Apparently the Zeklos Prince agreed with his cousin Jessie. He even suggested that I should be held accountable for Dimitri refusing Tasha's offer to Guard her and have children with her. Tatiana tried to stall the arrest by debating that this was retroactive and the law should only apply to current situations only. She also sent Guardian Tanner who she knew is a good friend of mine to warn me and advised me to find someone I could tolerate and get pregnant quick so that I could protect both myself and Dimitri. That is when I went to Adrian.

* * *

Pop Quiz

1. Why do you think it took so long for Lissa to understand that Tasha had been talking about Rose when she was explaining why she tried to kill Tatiana and the Guardian.

2. what do you think Oksana and Mark saw when she brushed Dimitri's mind?

3. Do you think Christian ever spoke to Tasha before her and the guy helping her were executed?

4. How do you think Tatiana felt about how things turned out?

_Me_:Please Review.

_Tatiana_: As Queen, I Order you to review.

_Tasha's Ghos_t: Don't Review, Snowgoose doesn't deserve it, She gave Dimitri to that blood whore and let me get executed.

_Dimitri and Rose_: Shut up and burn in hell Tasha. Readers, please review.


	5. While I was Sleeping

June 22, 2011

Sorry this has not been Read over by my wonderful beta RangaRose but I was a bit antsy to get this posted. please forgive any mistakes as they are all my fault and not hers. I am really sorry that it is taking me so long to write this story but I kinda lost my umph for writing for a while and had decided to work on the most popular stories first. I am hoping that my desire to write comes back twofold because I really hate leaving my readers hanging. I hope I have not lost too many of you.

I had one person who has been reading all my stories ask me if this story is before or after The Love Wielder's Journal. This story is an alternate time line to all the other stories. All my stories share certain themes, concepts and character back stories. Yet they are all different in that I have taken the what if factor to each one and tried to see how that effects each journey. My goal is to reach a similar conclusion or at least head there. I give a brief summery for all stories on my profile but if you have any questions feel free to PM me.

I do not own VA, but that which is not from the brilliant mind of Rachael Meed comes from the deranged mind of yours truly.  
Suzanna (and they trust me to teach defenseless little kids. Ha Ha)

* * *

_**Chapter 5: While I Was Sleeping**_

**Back to the present time after she went to hide in the forest to die.**

**Rose POV**

I walked as far as I possibly could and when I could go no farther I saw Mason standing just ahead of me by a stream. I lay down. Mason knelt next to me and stroked my cheek, a sad look upon his face. The touch of his hand held no pressure but it was cool and comforting.

I lay there and it was as if time lost its meaning. It could have been minutes or it could have been days that I lay there with Mason; waiting to go home to wherever the dead go. Death was taking me; I knew its familiar hold, from that darkness I heard an Angel voice. Whatever the angel was saying I could not say; but soon I felt myself wrapped in love flying with the Angel. It was the Angel that brought me to the place of color, light and music.

Once the light, color and music ended I found myself in darkness but this was not the darkness of death that held me. I don't understand where I am. If I am not dead then why do I still hear the angel? I can hear him but he sounds far away. His voice is soothing and comforting. I let myself focus on my angel's voice. He was always there. I heard other voices and sounds but I was never able to make sense of any of it. The angel sang something so sweet and soft. Sometimes he held my hand, sometimes he caressed my cheek.

I stayed quiet listening to the voices. I heard a sound that made my heart clench and made my body react strangely. I felt my body being shifted and someone exposed me. At first I was frightened but my angel soothed me. Something warm was set against me and I felt it move in a desperate way and its noise grew louder until it attached to my nipple; then it relaxed and all sounds were quiet except for the sound of my singing angel.

It was then that I understood that my baby was here and I was being made to feed it. My emotions went everywhere. Part of me was angry because by living I will have to mother this unfortunate baby whom I cannot love. Part of me, a part I don't understand is relieved and thankful that my angel is caring for my baby and is helping me to do so too. A warm and fuzzy feeling came over me as I nursed the baby. In some part of my heart it felt right to be here with my baby and my angel.

**~~*o~O~o*~~**

**_Dimitri POV_**

I walked into Roza's Room with our beautiful little Sarah in my arms. She lay on the bed with IVs in both arms and a she was fully connected to a heart and oxygen monitor. Years ago I trained in the medical field with my charge Ivan. I didn't like her heart rate, it was low. I sat in the chair next to her; took her hand and started to sing to her. As I sang her heart rate perked up and leveled out; this brought a smile to my face.

Dr Ivashkov brought a baby bed from the nursery for Sarah. She came to check on Rose every hour and after I told her the extent of my medical knowledge she stopped talking to me as a layman and started to talk to me as if I was a doctor. In truth if Ivan's father had gotten his way I would have finished my Internship and gone on to Residency even after Ivan died. She explained that though she isn't sure of how we conceived Sarah she has watched and monitored Rose through the last 7 months and she even shared with me the results of Rose's last amniocenteses tests. I shared with her the truth of my genetic changes and offered her a sample of my blood.

I sat by Roza and tried to use my own enhanced senses to determine how she was doing. I noted that her breasts were begging to swell and I could detect the sweet smell of breast milk. Sarah had taken the bottle of formula earlier but she didn't seem to like it. When Dr Ivashkov came in for another check on Roza I decided I needed her opinion before I acted on my current thought.

"Doctor Ivashkov, do you think that I should forgo the formula and help Roza breastfeed even though she is in a coma? I know she was a bit indifferent about having the baby in the first place; and I don't want to force her to do something she didn't want to do."

"Dimitri, please call me Sasha and I also prefer my married name. I am married to Guardian Andrew Isham so if you insist on calling me Doctor at least use Isham. To answer your question Rose may have acted indifferent about the baby but I always felt that deep down she really does love her. Adrian told me that he showed you what has happened over the last 7 months. As you know she did ask about abortion but it was only because she felt bad for bringing a baby into the situation she was in. But I am the one who saw the relief in her eyes when I told her it was too late to abort. Also if you look at her last acts, you can see evidence that she loves her baby. She cleaned the baby off and cut and tied her umbilical cord. She has two tiny fang marks on her breast that show me she has at least tried to feed her. She was wrapped in a fluffy towel that protected the baby from the cold. And her letter shows that she wanted better for her baby than she thought she could give. Those are acts of love and care.

I also know that at least as of last week she was planning on breastfeeding the baby. She didn't know about the baby needing blood because I was honestly not quite sure till I saw the fang marks. I know it feels a bit intrusive but I also think that the oxytocin and prolactin hormone release during feeding might help her bond to the baby even while in a coma."

Sarah began to cry and I suspect that she's hungry.

"Do you want some help getting her into position?" Dr Isham asked.

I nodded and she went to a cabinet and grabbed a few extra pillows. We adjusted the bed and got Rose in as close to a sitting position as possible. Dr Isham also suggested we move Rose closer to one side of the bed. She then told me to sit next to Rose. She placed the pillows over Rose's lap and then placed the baby on top. She had me hold Sarah while she exposed Roza's breast. Poor Sarah could smell her mommy's milk and only cried louder; she wiggled and kicked till her lips felt Roza's nipple, then she latched on for dear life. I had to chuckle when I thought that Sarah had inherited her mommy's appetite.

The way I lay next to Roza and holding Sarah to her felt so much like an embrace. For the first time I was holding my family. I again started to sing the tune that I have sung to Roza for almost three hours. For the first time in longer than I can dare to remember I felt whole and complete.

Every few hours I had to have a nurse help me position Rose for nursing and every time Sarah cried I got up to change her or burp her and help Rose feed her. I was exhausted but at the same time I didn't care. I am afraid that when Rose wakes up she won't want me around anymore. Adrian said that she was languishing without me and I know I was not doing well without her but something tells me that I have cause too much hurt for her to forgive me easily.

The next morning Lissa came for a visit. She told me that I should call Janine and Abe. Apparently Rose never told them about her pregnancy because she was ashamed of cheating on me. From the way Lissa spoke I could tell that she didn't know the truth. I wish I could tell her and everyone else that the baby is mine and Rose Never cheated on me; unfortunately there is someone who needs to know this first and that is Rose herself. I left Rose's room for the first time in twelve hours to make the call.

"Guardian Hathaway." Janine's voice sounded groggy.

"Sorry Janine, I didn't mean to wake you. I need to ask you and Abe to come to court. I don't know how to tell you this but Rose had a baby. You are a grandmother." I feel so ashamed but I guess Janine took it to be sorrow. I don't know how to tell her that I threw a fit when I found out. And I especially don't know how to tell her that I kicked her pregnant daughter out of our home. I heard her muffle the phone and wake up Abe. She told him to "get up and get ready to go to court and meet our grandchild."

"She never told me she was pregnant. Why didn't you guys tell me you were even thinking of children? Did you guys ask a friend of did you go to that clinic I heard about; the one where they do what Abe calls the turkey baster method." She asked. Janine is sometimes even more blunt and forward than her daughter; when she is comfortable that is.

"Um I really don't know how to explain it. I guess we can talk after Rose wakes up. In the mean time I am sure you will love to meet your granddaughter."

"Oh Dimitri, I am sorry. I know it must be hard to accept someone else's baby but you know she loves you; and she probably only did it to keep anyone from trying to arrest you. Augh; that stupid law."

"I have no problem accepting the child now but Janine I was a monster when I found out. I don't deserve her but if she will accept me back I will be the best husband and father there is." I began to cry.

"Have you been separated? Every time I ask about you she says you are working. I tried calling her a few hours ago but she didn't answer her cellphone. I guess if she has been having a baby I know why she didn't answer."

"Janine, something happened when she gave birth. She was alone and she started to hemorrhage. She's stable now but well she is in a coma. Please come to court, we can discuss what has been happening between me and Rose when you get here."

"God, Dimitri, is she ok?"

"Yeah I have been with her all night. Her doctor thinks she needs rest and time for her mind to digest what has happened."

"Abe is already on the phone getting the Jet ready. Does you mom know? Do you think she will want to see the baby? If you like we can swing by and pick her and your family up?"

"I haven't called her yet. I have just been concerned with taking care of Rose and Sarah. I honestly didn't even think to call you till Lissa suggested it. Let me call her and I will call you back in a few."

We hung up and I hit my mom's number on speed dial. She must have caller ID now.

"Privet, Dimka. Yeva govorit mne, chto yestʹ novosti o Roza , vy rabotali veshchi s synom moim ?" ** (Hello Dimka. Yeva tells me that there is news about Roza; have you worked things out with her my son?)**

"Ne sovsem mama, u nyeerebenka, no chto-to poshlo ne tak, i ona nahodit·sya vkome. YA s nyeĭ i nashyeĭ docheri. Yee roditeli predlozhili prinesti vam s nimi, yesli vy hotite priĭti syuda."** (Not really Mama, she had the baby but something went wrong and she is in a coma. I am with her and our daughter. Her parents offered to bring you with them if you want to come here.)**

"Konechno, syn , ya lyublyu Rozu , i ya znayu, chto ona nikogda ne hotel prichinitʹ vam vred. YA tolʹko mog sebe predstavitʹ,lyubovʹ, kotoruyu ona imyeet dlya vas bytʹ gotovy eto sdelatʹ. Pomnite, chto Yeva byla govoritʹ. Etot rebenok byl sozdan vakt lyubvi , a ne predatelʹstvo. My uzhe prinimaem etogo rebenka , kak svoi sobstvennye. Vasha babushka byla tak po krayu onavidenierebenka, no ona ne skazhet nam . Ona skazala, my budem znatʹ, kogda my vidim yee." ** (Of course, son, I love Roza and I know she never meant to hurt you. I could only imagine the love she has for you to be willing to do this. Remember what Yeva has been saying. This child was created in an act of love; not betrayal. We already accept this child as your own. Your grandmother has been so on edge she had a vision about the baby but she won't tell us. She said we will know when we see her.)**

"YA budu tekst yee i skazatʹ yeĭ, chtoby svyazatʹsya s vami s detalyami mne dyeĭstvitelʹno nuzhno , chtoby vernutʹsya k moim devochkam syeĭchas. Do skoroĭ vstrechi, mama. "

**(I will text her mom and tell her to contact you with the details I really need to get back to my girls now. See you soon, Mama.)**

I hung up and text back to Janine as I walked back into Roza's room. What I saw in there disturbed me. Sarah was crying and Lissa was trying to calm her down with a bottle of formula. She must have made it just now because I cleaned out the old one and never made new ones since I started to help her nurse from Roza. When I looked at Roza's heart monitor I saw that it had increased to a high level and would be sounding the alarm at the nurse's station at any moment.

"Lissa she hasn't taken a bottle since the one she had in the waiting room. She has been nursing from Roza. Help me get Roza set up."

I showed her how to get Roza into a sitting position and I took the pillows and adjusted them while getting myself settled next to her. I pared her breast and asked for Sarah. Poor Sarah began to cry harder when she was hear enough to smell her mother's milk. Roza's breathing was a bit erratic and her heart beat was climbing. As soon as Sarah latched on and started to suckle Roza gave a sigh and her heart beat went back to normal. I didn't notice Dr Isham, came in to check on Roza till she spoke.

"Wow that's a good sign. She is responding to the baby. I think it shows us that she is bonding to her. Dr. Isham came over and adjusted the pillows a bit for me. Lissa smiled at us.

"Dimitri, her aura show's that she is calm and even a little happy."

I smiled back but in my heart I have to admit that I feel as if this is too easy. I wonder what will happen when Roza wakes up. Sometimes what we want subconsciously and what we want consciously are two very different things and that is what I am afraid of.

* * *

POP QUIZ

1. Why Does Rose think the voice with her is an Angel? How come she doesn't know it is really Dimitri?

2. What do you think her true feelings are for her baby.

3. What is Yeva not telling the family?

4. How is Rose going to React when she wakes up?

please **REVIEW** let me know what you are thinking and please if you can do the pop quiz. The teacher in me loves to read the answers.

Suzanna


	6. Just a note to you

Just a Note to my Readers.

I have just posted a chapter for She Called Him Comrade in it I added a link to my new facebook group.  
This group is dedicated to my stories of FF but also to you my readers. I borrowed the Idea from some of the authors is the Twi Fandom. The group give you a way to contact me without using the PM. You can ask me question about the stories plots, or twists, give me input and suggestions or just tell me to get my butt in gear.

Here is the link since the one in the chapter got thwarted by FFN Edit the spaces and it should work. I am also adding the link to my FFN Profile.

w w w . facebook groups / 451506234880745 / permalink / 451674688197233 /

If you are in need of a beta I am free to help with a story or two.


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